I am a 57 year old male survivor. I was raped by a man when I was 7. Out of fear and shame I remained silent for over 40 years. I now go to group therapy and I have done a lot of work. I am sober in AA almost 14 years. How can your book help me? I am not in the field or a professional, I am a survivor who helps others by telling my story. I am always looking for more help so I can pass it on. Take care,” —Ryan
Thank you for writing and sharing your experience, Ryan.
First I should clarify that the book is about sexual healing which typically includes hands-on, somatic engagement and not sexual abuse counseling (which is a form of psychiatric “talk” therapy that does not typically include therapist-patient touch).
Sexual healing is not for everybody. Many abuse survivors are best served by talk therapy until they progress far enough in their healing and integration before working with a sexual healer to be beneficial. When the body is included in healing methods and sexual energy is therapeutically worked with—for the survivor who is ready for it—sexual healing can create great shifts and releases that remove blocks to further progress and integration.
In this way, sexual healing is a compliment to psychiatric therapy and can be an important bridge for a survivor to safely take the vital step of experiential integration through hands-on interaction with a sexual healer—gently affirming a client’s progress and incrementally instill confidence while exercising of autonomy.
This book “Safe Sexual Healing” tells sexual abuse survivors what to expect regarding whom they choose to work with, what will happen during sessions, what the possible side effects are, and what potential hazards there are to watch out for. By writing frankly about these elements of sexual healing my hope is an informed public will be less afraid and more protected and enabled to get the kind of healing treatment they desire.
These days there is also a growing number of adults who have become acquainted with “Tantra” and sexual energy techniques. One of the dangers of Tantra is in the triggering of emotional and psychological wounds—and without safeguards in place people have been harmed. So the book also talks about sexual healing within the framework of Tantra and tantra events, workshops, practice and healing sessions—with suggestions for Tantric healers, teachers, and workshop facilitators.
Ryan, I honor and appreciate that you share your story with others to help them be aware and understand their experience better. For the women and men you know who are curious about what the sexual healing method is, how does it work, how to know who is safe to work with and how to avoid being re-wounded by a reckless healer—this book provides those answers—and more on how to achieve the goal of healing.
Thanks for supporting the vision of a healthy society where sexual healing is respected and appreciated. Please pass the word and send people to the website to sign up on the list and get the 7 point checklist for safe sexual healing.
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