Survivors of sexual abuse or assault have had their sense of safety, autonomy, and trust breached and shaken, if not destroyed. It was their inherent right of choice and autonomy over what happens to them that was taken. It was their right to say “NO” and to not be victimized that was dismissed.
There is no consent when BOTH people do not have the free will, ability or competency to affirm their desire for something or to agree to another’s offer of interaction.
To do ANYTHING that personally physically or sexually involves the body (especially private areas such as genitals, breasts, buttocks, or mouth) of someone else without their consent is ASSAULT.
One way to quickly get the meaning of, and how to have Consent is to think about a word that sounds similar and has a similar meaning: Consensus
Middle English: from Old French consente (noun), consentir (verb), from Latin consentire, from con- ‘together’ + sentire ‘feel’.
We understand consensus to mean that two or more people agree, or are in harmony, on a subject. Consensus means there is a majority that feel a certain way. To get to a consensus there is usually a thorough discussion of all the variables, options, and their potential exposures, and after questions are answered to the satisfaction of those involved an agreed definition is reached.
With Sexual Healing, consent works in a similar way: there needs to be a thorough discussion of the ingredients, options, and possible after-effects associated with healing session treatments. The “concord” or agreement and harmony sought is to ensure that both the client and healer are on the same page with what to expect and what will be included/excluded in the session.
Healers can sometimes worry that too much discussion may “ruin the mood” or take away necessary mystique from the session. However, if handled with consideration and planning, consent conversations need not distract or derail a session’s impact or efficacy. Rather, just the opposite is true. When a survivor is included and considered in the process of creating a session’s boundaries and behaviors (container) they feel more invested and represented in their healing—safe and trusting enough to be vulnerable and open to the healing process.
Active Consent Participation
What’s needed to ensure a client’s optimum safety, healing benefits, and wholehearted participation is what I call Active Consent Participation. This model of consent is ongoing and responsive to the client’s truth—modifying interaction and treatments in a session for the client’s optimum experience of healing and growth.
We’ll be discussing Consent and the Active Consent Participation model, how to achieve and “be in consent,” as well as how to implement consent during a session. We’ll also look at the 5 types of consent and which one of them is usually where healers make mistakes.
THE CLIENT – Safe Sexual Healing webinar
If you’re a healing facilitator, therapist, coach or counselor who works with emotional trauma from abuse or assault, this webinar session will provide guidance on How and When to have your client’s Consent. And, #2, know the signs of emotional shock and what to do when it happens.
Survivors will receive 2 techniques to use in dealing with feeling mentally/emotionally “frozen” and when they feel triggered, fragmented or like they’re “falling apart.”
>> Register for webinar << session 60 min. $25.00
Paid attendees will have access to webinar recording for playback anytime.
Use hashtag #CLIENTWEBINARSAFESEXUALHEALING